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Chrissy La Fountain
Christal_L Trending Tweets
women
Argg...I did a little post thanking you for the pretty stars and I fucked it up. Just like a woman. @thereverendcink
RT @MikeDrucker: I'm next to a man who's desperately hitting on a woman who keeps talking about her husband. This flight is going to be like a little play.
RT @KarenWalkerBot: I want a man who can make a woman feel like a girl. And who can make that girl feel like a slut & who can make that slut feel like a woman.
life
RT @robdelaney: Cats probably wouldn't need 9 lives if they wore tiny little helmets and didn't smoke cigarettes.
RT @myles_morrison: When life is screwing me I'm actually thinking about someone else while it's happening.
RT @DontTouchMyWine: A lot of people are here because life beat them up a little bit --they don't need any more. Be kind or be quiet.
RT @kelkulus: I've never paid for sex.
Well maybe with mental anguish, self respect, years off my life, and faith in humanity, but haven't we all?
girl
How I know @samthefountain was my kid...when she was a little girl and in the tub she wanted all her Barbies...so she could make them drown.
My commitment issues are so huge that, through mental telepathy, I am able to make them run like screaming girls
The Electra Complex (Daddy issues for girls) is surpassed here on Twitter by the
glaring The Oedipus Complex (Mommy issues for men)
RT @Storminika: What's the problem Ma'am? Is it the "Cocaine Blows" tank top I'm wearing, with the bloody nose girl on it? Is that offending you?
RT @FaisalAdam_: I smiled when someone said I was popular on twitter...
Then I realised it's like being the guy every patient in a loony bin knows. ☹
RT @hipchkk: Men of twitter: whether witty, sexy, brilliant, dirty, hilarious, poetic, crass, angry or undefinable...thank you! I love the fuck out you.
RT @MyOwnWayJenny: Most of us on here have been bullied before. It feels horrible. Twitter is about expressing yourself freely. Please don't bully. Be kind.
The Electra Complex (Daddy issues for girls) is surpassed here on Twitter by the
glaring The Oedipus Complex (Mommy issues for men)
RT @genehunter1: Blah blah blah blah TWITTER,
yadda yadda blah blah tweet yadda yadda blah blah TL yadda star blah blah favorite yadda yadda yadda.
kids
When I hear the neighbors kids up then I will get on the treadmill because I'm considerate like that....
My little sister & kids had to put up with me.I always answer the "Whats for dessert?" question with "Poopsicles and Kitty Litter crunchies"
RT @genehunter1: Thanks for retweeting your favstar trophy notices, so the other kids and I can be reminded of your popularity!
You Rock!!
I can't stand the other parents at my kids karate class. They're gossiping, snotty and bitchy. The mothers aren't any better, either.
bed
RT @IngloriousMovz: I'm going to gather supplies so I can stay in bed the rest of the day playing the floor is lava.
I want a bed suspended from the ceiling by chains so I can be rocked to sleep... oh yeah and for hot monkey love
When i sit on my bed,my feet are no where near the floor. THIS is why no one takes me serious. Or it could be the " Hello Kitty" bed spread
I've turned my bed covered into a blanket fort. I will be conducting all business it here where its warm.
star
Argg...I did a little post thanking you for the pretty stars and I fucked it up. Just like a woman. @thereverendcink
Thank you for the pretty star shower. I take it this means I'm moving in this week@thereverendcink . Thank you, sincerely.
RT @genehunter1: Blah blah blah blah TWITTER,
yadda yadda blah blah tweet yadda yadda blah blah TL yadda star blah blah favorite yadda yadda yadda.
sister
My little sister & kids had to put up with me.I always answer the "Whats for dessert?" question with "Poopsicles and Kitty Litter crunchies"
RT @OhdearDave: My little sister just followed me, think it's time for my 12th account in two years.
As you know, my sister won't take her crazy medicine. So, I've redesign a blow dart so as to shoot the pills down her throat mid- scream
RT @genehunter1: When I was in 4th grade, I had a brief but very intense affair with my teacher, Sister Angelica.
Don't judge.
My sister isnt taking her crazy meds.We've devised something that's a cross between an intervention & a Wild Kingdom episode with dart guns.
baby
RT @VaguelyFunnyDan: Ah yeah...turn the lights down low, baby...Lower...A little lower...Okay, just turn 'em off...Alright, here we go...
@MrRumSodLash my baby French i learned as a little girl is only allowing me to translate every other word. How are you Sir?
My kid just called me a whiner and a cry baby. I told on her to my Mom.. then I called her a poopy head booger face...
coffee
Laying here, my head under the covers like some kind of mutated turtle. I forgot to close the windows. My room's the frozen tundra. Coffee?
RT @H0TMessBarbie: I like my men like I like my coffee: strong and "that's mine don't fucking touch it!"
I'm making The Coffee. This may take a minute. I would appreciate you're not tweeting until I get back from it. Thanks, you're an angel.