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I don't worry about dying alone. I have a husband and a toddler. I can't even go to the bathroom alone.
My husband just sent me a text with a bunch of emoji in case you think the magic is gone after you have kids.
When I'm drunk I always give a huge tip. Just like my husband.
In honor of International Women's Day, I'm passive aggressively sighing in bed till my husband makes coffee. Then, MANI PEDI TIME!!
Hell hath no fury like a woman scorched in the shower when her husband flushes the toilet.
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