Twitter Tweets by @Gennefer

“I hate when I start reading Twitter and end up on an episode of 'Hoarders' three years later.”

“All my knowledge on any given topic is just a bunch of random assumptions I make from your Twitter jokes.”

“If one more chick says she's starting her 'Spring cleanse,' I swear I'm gonna do nothing but passive aggressively gripe about it on Twitter.”

“It's Twitter's 7th birthday, which is fitting, because most people on here act like 7-year-olds, you big doodie heads!!”

“My existential crisis is that Twitter is the best distraction life has to offer.”

“Sincere tweet: Thank you, Twitter, for helping me kick that nasty habit of reading books. 4 years illiterate today.”

“"Old news, over it, look who's pregnant again, saw that link on Twitter YESTERDAY." - me, scrolling through my Facebook timeline”

“Ugh. Not one person on this Paramount Lot recognizes me from Twitter.”

“When I downloaded the latest version of Twitter, I lost all my drafts, now here I am just tweeting trivial shit like the rest of you.”

“Are pandas another Twitter joke hack like pizza and despair?”

“I think they should expand the Pope candidate search to Twitter. There's already a ton of Pontifficators on here.”

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