The Daily Show

Tonight: @Jonesinforjason hangs around outside George Clooney's house. For work reasons. #DailyShow

Tonight: North Carolina delivers a huge victory for homogeneous acceptance. #DailyShow

Tonight: @BarackObama's thoughts on gay marriage are "evolving." It's not a flip-flop -- it's a miracle of nature! #DailyShow

The Daily Show Election Center breaks down the science behind @NewtGingrich's speech to members of the NRA.

The Daily Show has a new app. It plays The Daily Show. Where's our billion dollars?

Answer The Daily Show Election Center's new poll: Who Wore It Best: Thumbs.

No one said saving America was going to be easy. Or cheap. Or successful.

Tonight: It's the one-year anniversary of the night before America's biggest hangover in a decade.

MT @MittRomney "Great to have @GovernorPerry's support. Looking forward to working with him" // America, meet your next Secretary of...um...

#TDSBreakingNews Rudy Giuliani, "America's Mayor," endorses @MittRomney, gives him key to America City.

Tonight: Can the GOP convince America it loves the candidate it spent years hating?

#TDSBreakingNews Ted Nugent calls Obama Admin "vile, evil, & America-hating." He then shot a flaming arrow into a guitar, so, grain of salt.

#TDSBreakingNews Obama raises $1 mil in 90 mins after backing gay marriage. Most profitable gay 90 mins since "Goodbye Yellow Brick Road."

#TDSBreakingNews @MittRomney on Obama slogan: "Forward, what, over a cliff?" Next line in script: "(HOLD FOR LAUGHTER)"

#TDSBreakingNews Ted Nugent calls Obama Admin "vile, evil, & America-hating." He then shot a flaming arrow into a guitar, so, grain of salt.

#TDSBreakingNews @MittRomney begins search for VP. Meanwhile, Obama searches for TP after @JoeBiden used it all on his mummy costume.

Obama's challenge to Congress: Try stonewalling THESE judicial nominees.

RT @RNC "Energy Will Be Obama's Waterloo" // You mean his irresistible Eurotrash dance hit? #MyMy

#TDSBreakingNews @MittRomney apologizes for bullying gay classmate in prep school. Explained he was just creating #jobs for therapists.

Tonight: Great news for kids who want high-paying jobs when they grow up and don't mind flying to an asteroid to be a miner!

.@MittRomney is already creating jobs.

#TDSBeakingNews ND McDonalds offers $300 bonus for new hires. Related story: all current employees just quit and reapplied for their jobs.

MT @WhiteHouse "By the Numbers: Since June 2009, auto industry added 170,000 #jobs" // Unfortunately, most hired to push around old Saturns

RT @NorahODonnell "Obama in Asheville, NC, talking jobs. Pic Attached " // Now can you make the picture move & talk?

#TDSBreakingNews: Federal inmate wins 40% of WV Dem primary vote against @BarackObama. Slogan: "Yes We're In The Can!"

Tonight: Trump v. Murdoch. May the worst man win.

.@StephenAtHome wins a Peabody Award for Colbert Super PAC! Well done, Citizens United!

The political media cares about two things: will a candidate win, or is he dead. #dailyshow

Jon congratulates his staff on their ninth #Emmy win. #dailyshow

RT @kevermantweets: How many times have you cried today watching the African Cats trailer? If your answer is less than 3, then I WIN. #earthday

#TDSBreakingNews: Federal inmate wins 40% of WV Dem primary vote against @BarackObama. Slogan: "Yes We're In The Can!"

Tonight: @JonesinforJason hits on the woman vote.

#TDSBreakingNews Senate votes down #BluntAmendment. No, it wasn't about legalizing it. #ActuallyDoobieAmendment

#TDSBreakingNews @JonHuntsman drops out, endorses @MittRomney. Those 8 votes could make all the difference in SC.

.@FoxNews' Carl Cameron provides an early tally of Dixville Notch's Republican primary vote. #dailyshow

Congress votes to renew the wedding vows between God and America. #dailyshow