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I don't have kids but I understand empty nest syndrome every time I throw away my month-old sauces from takeout.
RT @mattkoff: "Ask questions first, ask questions later." - kids
RT @midnight: There's a huge Star Wars rumor going around about the new evil: Han and Leia's kids have to go online and read a bunch of Star Wars rumors.
Take your kids camping instead of to an amusement park so they view returning to school more positively.
After a game I like to eat Sour Patch Kids. It's like Gatorade but without the electrolytes.
I don't feel bad asking younger people what their slang means because one day their kids will ask as well.
Naming my kids Up and Adam so I have a reason to say that in the mornings.
RT @Kyle_Lippert: Cleveland: I miss us.
LeBron: It's been years. I've moved on.
Cleveland: But I've changed. Give us another chance. For the kids.
RT @loribuckmajor: If I had to guess how many kids peed in this pool today I'd go with all of them.
Every time you exploit your kids for a funny Vine video Harry Chapin gets royalties for Cat's in the Cradle.
Dear Slenderman, please tell kids to eat their vegetables and do their homework.
Will spank your kids for free. #knewIwasamom #ItTakesAVillage @sixwords #sixwords
I shudder to think about how many dyslexic kids say, "On" to drugs.
You know in The Lion King when they raise Simba and the animals cheer? That's how you should feel about your kids. But on the inside.
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