Pizza Tweets by @curlycomedy

“Turns out: even if it's NOT on a bagel you can eat pizza anytime.”

“I remember a simpler time when we used to have to be bribed with pizza to do our summer reading.”

“RT @rachelmillman: I Have No Money And I Must Eat I Have No Voice And I Want To Scream I Have A California Pizza Kitchen Gift Card”

“RT @tanishalong: @curlycomedy will have you eat a whole pizza and get day drunk on wine. I 💗her!”

“I've got it: pizza-flavored tooth paste! *a group of kids hoists me on their shoulders* *I throw a newsboy cap in the air*”

“RT @AndyKindler: Ellen should say: We're halfway through........the pizza bit! #Ocsars”

“It's taking a really long time to clear three pizzas in a room full of hundreds. #AcademyAwards”

“"Lupita, you want some pizza?" Is the new "Oprah: Uma. Uma: Oprah" #AcademyAwards”

“I get happy for other people who have pizza.”

“When pizza's on a bagel you can eat pizza anytime. Except at a murder trial, apparently. False advertising.”

“So come on down to de Blasio's! Where the pizza is hot and the prices are right! Also I am your mayor now.”

“New York City has a new mayor in de Blasio. I wonder how many of its citizens voted for him because they were hungry for pizza.”

I don't look Italian when I do it.

I don't look Italian when I do it.

I don't look Italian when I do it. @ Peppino's Pizza

“People in denial about their weight blot their pizza.”

“RT @erinjudge: When the moon hits your eye like a big pizza pie, that's insomnia.”

“The government can't spend money until laws are passed. Reminds me of the shutdown of 1995 when I couldn't buy pizza due to being grounded.”

“Butter ingredients. Butter pizza. Papa John's.”

“RT @samir: Some things that taste better than skinny feels:
- Pizza
- Hamburgers
- Burritos
- Quesadillas
- Fried chicken
- Ice cream
- Sesame chicken”

“RT @carriegravenson: Just passed a farm stand that had 10 avocados for a dollar. Yeah, but a slice of decent pizza here is 43 dollars.”

“How can I make pizza-flavored butter? #sadgooglesearches”

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Abbi Crutchfield

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